Tuesday, 23 April 2013
So all of my past blogs have been about something pretty I've bought or making something out of nothing. This post is going to be a bit more about me and I'm thinking about blogging more about life more often. I used to blog quite a lot when I was younger, I found it quite therapeutic and sometimes it's nice to randomly share your inner thoughts with strangers.
I'm going to jump straight into it. Over the last 6 or so months I've been feeling all over the place, mixture of mood, stress and anxiety. I began to argue more about stupid little things, I've been getting tired easily and just lost enthusiasm for a lot of things in life really. It's been tugging at me so I thought it would be best to seek help as I just couldn't put my finger on what was actually wrong with me. I returned to the doctors after getting blood tests the other week, sadly all of that was clear. I say sadly because I was hoping it would be something that could be fixed sooner rather than later.
My first option is to possibly go on a 16 week therapy course to basically help turn all of my negative thoughts into positive ones. Therapy to me sounds odd, I have no idea why and I know a lot of people that have it for various reasons. I guess I personally think that I don't need it as I haven't yet had a mental breakdown, I've had no suicidal thoughts, but it's not really all about that. I met someone last week who was as bubbly as can be and she admitted that even she had been seeing a therapist. It's obviously a lot more normal than I first thought.
I think I'll check out the couple of websites the doctor recommended first before I call up for the course. Apparently you have to do some sort of phone interview to see if you fit the course anyway, bit random. Sites suggested were livinglifetothefull.com and Mood Gym, I'll give them a shot I think. If anyone else knows of some great guides then please comment.
Will have to see how this all goes really, need to learn to just chill out a lot more. Easier said than done for me and it's not like I've not tried! I've always worried since I can remember, I worry that I don't do enough and that I won't please everyone. In reality I take on far too much and then end up worrying because I don't think I'll be able to complete it all. Learning to say No instead of Yes to EVERYTHING would be a good start. Part of me refuses to think about myself as I feel selfish for doing so, I shouldn't feel like that of course but I do. In my head there is always something that can be done but really I just need to train my brain to switch off and reassure myself that it's not the end of the world if a certain task doesn't get completed.
Positive thoughts, that's what I need. To get excited about the adventures that lie ahead and not to panic about every single element so that I don't actually enjoy them.
I'd like to thank all who have supported me this last week or so, people who have sent messages with help, advice and reassuring me that it'll be okay. I even received a wonderful card and gift (earrings in picture above) from Rachel, which put a warm smile on my face.
At least I will always know, no matter how I feel, that I have loving people around me who do care. I appreciate that so much, I really do. Also I thank Jerry for putting up with me lately, with my random strops, I'm doing all I can to be that Helen I was once before :)
Also one last thing... finally we have warm weather, woohoo!!